Just like everyone else I have my fears and obstacles. I do what I can to get past them, but they are still there. I believe everyone has the ability to overcome fear as long as they put in the effort and face it. Nothing should be able to scare you enough to not pursue happiness in life.
I honestly fear change. I'm the kind of person that tends to find my comfort zone and stay there. But in life I want to be a touring musician so I have to get past my fear of change since I desire to travel and see new things. I think as long as I have good people by my side it will comfort me while traveling. I also fear failure. I know everyone does, but it is still a fear of mine. This connects a lot to the comfort zone thing, sometimes it prevents me from trying new things or sometimes doing things I know I'm good at in front of people, as I can get scared they won't think I'm good. It's something I can move past, I understand in life that in the wise words of Shia Labeouf sometimes you just gotta "DO IT"
I do have many irrational fears too. Like the dark. It sounds so dumb, but it is a fear of mine and I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping as a kid because of it. I also had a fear of ghosts and as a kid when it was dark in my room at night my young mind would imagine all sorts of things, I would have myself convinced I saw something or that I wasn't alone. I did get over that fear as I got older, but to do that I just had to face it, I would force myself to sleep in the dark until eventually I got more comfortable. I also one time went ghost hunting which helped me face my fear of ghosts.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Blessing In Disguise
So one thing in my life that was a really bad situation that turned out to be a blessing in disguise was the breakup of my first serious band NightSlasher. Basically what happened was everyone slowly but surely became unmotivated and lost interest. After 5 years of hard work we really weren't getting anywhere, many of the members became unreliable and started focusing on life outside of the band, which is perfectly okay, but at the time it really sucked. The straw that broke the camels back was when we had to cancel our studio sessions to make our first real album, that was kinda the only thing that was keeping everyone in the band was the hope that our album would happen, but unfortunately the plans fell through. So most of us went our separate ways me and a couple of the others started a new band.
At first when it happened I was actually kinda happy, but once we made the announcement on our facebook page and a lot of our fans got pretty upset, I actually started to get really sad. I thought I might've made a huge mistake and messed up what could've ended up being a really good thing. Starting the new band was extremely slow and tedious as well and for a while I didn't know if going through the process of finding all new people and making all new songs would be worth it, I knew eventually that's what I would have to do, but I started to think about taking time off from music.
I didn't though. Because once the new band actually came together it breathed new life into me. Now I realize that breaking up the old band was the best decision I could've made. This new one is working out so well and I honestly feel we're 10000x better than the old one. We have better songs and just better and nicer and more dedicated people. I'm much happier now than I ever was with the old band.
Psychological Alchemy
An entrance to the mind
What lies beneath?
What don't we know
That in reality
Deep down we do know
It is a key
To unlock the door to the mind
And unlock the door to our minds mind
Find the hidden passageways inside
Show us who we really are
What drives us
Why we do what we do
Why we are who we are
All the questions have answers
All we have to do is look
At ourselves
At first when it happened I was actually kinda happy, but once we made the announcement on our facebook page and a lot of our fans got pretty upset, I actually started to get really sad. I thought I might've made a huge mistake and messed up what could've ended up being a really good thing. Starting the new band was extremely slow and tedious as well and for a while I didn't know if going through the process of finding all new people and making all new songs would be worth it, I knew eventually that's what I would have to do, but I started to think about taking time off from music.
I didn't though. Because once the new band actually came together it breathed new life into me. Now I realize that breaking up the old band was the best decision I could've made. This new one is working out so well and I honestly feel we're 10000x better than the old one. We have better songs and just better and nicer and more dedicated people. I'm much happier now than I ever was with the old band.
Psychological Alchemy
An entrance to the mind
What lies beneath?
What don't we know
That in reality
Deep down we do know
It is a key
To unlock the door to the mind
And unlock the door to our minds mind
Find the hidden passageways inside
Show us who we really are
What drives us
Why we do what we do
Why we are who we are
All the questions have answers
All we have to do is look
At ourselves
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Experience
So I'm going to discuss some events in my life that have set the course for what I want to do with myself. I really haven't had to many bad experiences, so these will mostly be good things.
The first event was playing my first gig. This was back in Dec of 2012 and I was 15 at the time. The gig was at RGs Pub in Haverhill, MA it was a crappy little bar, but for some reason it was packed with people wanting to see us and the other bands, it was a bout 60 or so people, which doesn't seem like a lot but for my first show that seemed like a million ... especially in such a tiny place. I had been playing in a band called NightSlasher for about 2 years at this point and we had worked extremely hard up to this point, then one day our new Bass player asked us about playing our 1st show, he had heard through a friend that a lady was putting something together and still needed a couple more bands so we got on that. It was just a great night, seeing all those people rocking out to the songs that I made was so cool and it just made me realize more than ever that I wanted to play music for the rest of my life. I wasn't really nervous going into it either, I was very prepared and everything felt so natural, my stage presence was so so, but that has improved greatly over the years.
Another good experience I had was working my first job at Everett City Hall. It was a summer job that I did the past 3 summers and I really enjoyed it. I just did all sorts of odd jobs, whether it be sorting papers, moving boxes, archiving stuff, or making trips to Dunkin Donuts for the office. It was usually pretty easy, there were definitely some tough days where I did some tedious stuff, but my grandfather and one of my best friends also worked there, so it wasn't usually that bad, I learned a lot about responsibility and it helped set me up for getting more real job at some ... soon hopefully.
Another cool experience was when I went ghost hunting in the haunted woods. Now this didn't really shape my future or anything, but as a kid I always had an irrational dear of ghosts and the dark for absolutely no reason, it got better over the years, but even as a teen I was still scared. So last year me and all my friends decided to go to Maudslay State Park .. I don't remember where it's located but it seemed like the middle of nowhere. So we all had flashlights and a gps satellite so we wouldn't get lost ... and we even brought a sword. It was very freaky ... nothing paranormal happened, it was definitely very eerie though, it just felt strange. It was unbelievably dark and it was the middle of the night, if we looked behind us where the flashlights weren't shining it was absolute darkness, I have never seen darkness like that. We found all sorts of weird things, like a pet cemetery and an old run down garden and an area in the middle that was completely open for quite a distance (I guess a house used to be there and it burned down a while ago) so eventually we got lost even though we had the satellite we kept running into dead ends and eventually all of our flashlights died except 2 (we initially had 6) and then the satellite started to die, but luckily we found the exit before that happened (it had less than 10% battery left) so even though the night was really scary it helped me realize that I probably won't have a night as scary as that again so I guess the thought of that and the fact that I faced my fears and came out just fine it helped me get rid of those fears. NOW I CAN SLEEP WITH THE LIGHTS OFF
The first event was playing my first gig. This was back in Dec of 2012 and I was 15 at the time. The gig was at RGs Pub in Haverhill, MA it was a crappy little bar, but for some reason it was packed with people wanting to see us and the other bands, it was a bout 60 or so people, which doesn't seem like a lot but for my first show that seemed like a million ... especially in such a tiny place. I had been playing in a band called NightSlasher for about 2 years at this point and we had worked extremely hard up to this point, then one day our new Bass player asked us about playing our 1st show, he had heard through a friend that a lady was putting something together and still needed a couple more bands so we got on that. It was just a great night, seeing all those people rocking out to the songs that I made was so cool and it just made me realize more than ever that I wanted to play music for the rest of my life. I wasn't really nervous going into it either, I was very prepared and everything felt so natural, my stage presence was so so, but that has improved greatly over the years.
Another good experience I had was working my first job at Everett City Hall. It was a summer job that I did the past 3 summers and I really enjoyed it. I just did all sorts of odd jobs, whether it be sorting papers, moving boxes, archiving stuff, or making trips to Dunkin Donuts for the office. It was usually pretty easy, there were definitely some tough days where I did some tedious stuff, but my grandfather and one of my best friends also worked there, so it wasn't usually that bad, I learned a lot about responsibility and it helped set me up for getting more real job at some ... soon hopefully.
Another cool experience was when I went ghost hunting in the haunted woods. Now this didn't really shape my future or anything, but as a kid I always had an irrational dear of ghosts and the dark for absolutely no reason, it got better over the years, but even as a teen I was still scared. So last year me and all my friends decided to go to Maudslay State Park .. I don't remember where it's located but it seemed like the middle of nowhere. So we all had flashlights and a gps satellite so we wouldn't get lost ... and we even brought a sword. It was very freaky ... nothing paranormal happened, it was definitely very eerie though, it just felt strange. It was unbelievably dark and it was the middle of the night, if we looked behind us where the flashlights weren't shining it was absolute darkness, I have never seen darkness like that. We found all sorts of weird things, like a pet cemetery and an old run down garden and an area in the middle that was completely open for quite a distance (I guess a house used to be there and it burned down a while ago) so eventually we got lost even though we had the satellite we kept running into dead ends and eventually all of our flashlights died except 2 (we initially had 6) and then the satellite started to die, but luckily we found the exit before that happened (it had less than 10% battery left) so even though the night was really scary it helped me realize that I probably won't have a night as scary as that again so I guess the thought of that and the fact that I faced my fears and came out just fine it helped me get rid of those fears. NOW I CAN SLEEP WITH THE LIGHTS OFF
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